Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize