I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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