Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
this just has baby written all over it
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
