I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
