I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
