You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize