So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
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