Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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