i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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