We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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