At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
