Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
