Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
