so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
