Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
They have beer where we have blood.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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