Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm passing your future prison.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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