There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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