This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
