How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
What a dumb baby whore.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize