doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
