Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
