Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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