I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
