umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
