but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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