i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize