just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize