Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We talked him into tasing himself.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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