You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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