I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You took a bar mat shot.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
