you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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