hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
