it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I don't deserve a penis
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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