she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
