:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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