so that wasnt chicken after all
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
