There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she pinky promised me she was 18
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You took a bar mat shot.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
