Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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