Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
