Swine flu. Run for my life!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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