Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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