But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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