big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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