Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
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