2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
