Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
