Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
