just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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