Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
