I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
