So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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