Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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