did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
