I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
smell my finger.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
