Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Sorry my hands just texted you
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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