He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
