We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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