Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
