I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
