I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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