You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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