I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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