its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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