i can't believe i had my finger in that
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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